Amalie Lee is een 20-jarige student uit Londen. In 2012 werd ze depressief en hield ze op met eten. Een tijd later ging het zelfs zo slecht met haar dat ze werd opgenomen. In 2013 besloot ze op Instagram een dagboek bij te houden.
Amalie heeft haar hele proces vastgelegd en getoond op haar Instagram. Nu drie jaar later post ze alleen maar lekkere food foto’s en foto’s van haar gezonde lichaam. Met motiverende bijschriften voor meisjes die hetzelfde doorgaan als zij heeft gedaan en nog steeds doet.
In 2014 werd ze namelijk gezond verklaard qua gewicht. Alleen ben je er dan nog lang niet. Ook geestelijk heb je een enorme uitdaging. De ziekte zit in je, en dat gevecht zul je moeten winnen om te overleven.
Amalia vertelt dat het voor haar gek is om terug te kijken omdat ze alles heeft bijgehouden van het begin. Ze heeft een tijdlang gedacht dat ze de rest van haar leven alleen zou blijven, opgegeten zou worden door haar ziekte, en ontzettend bang zou worden in plaats van te kunnen herstellen. Uiteindelijk was het haar social media kanaal dat haar heeft geholpen om te herstellen en door te zetten. Doordat Amalia zoveel volgers had, wilde ze niet teleurstellen en opgeven.
Ze is nu ontzettend trots op haar prestatie en laat dat ook zien. Amalia heeft bijna 100.000 volgers die haar dagelijks complimentjes geven over het winnen van de strijd tegen anorexia. Daarnaast heeft ze ook een Tumblr account waarop ze laat zien hoe je hulp kunt zoeken. Een prachtig verhaal van een meisje waarmee het nu goed gaat, en haar verhaal gebruikt om anderen te helpen.
The highlight of the day; bone density measurement at the hospital? Anorexia means a high risk of developing osteoporosis (decreased bone mass and an increased risk of fracture), so I went through a full x-ray body scan. Right now I feel more radioactive than Hiroshima and Chernobyl in total? Anyway, I dont want to sound cheesy, but I seriously love you guys. The comments you have posted lately are so touching, supportive and inspiring. It feels like I have 5000 friends that I don't even know, and I wish I could get to know you guys better! Some of you have followed/added/contacted me on facebook (where I always reply), and it makes me so happy so feel free to do so! Thanks for brightening my rather dark days?
Bij deze foto vertelt ze hoe slecht het gaat met haar lichaam. Ze heeft het continu koud en haar vingertoppen en tenen zijn blauw. Ze loopt ernstig gevaar als ze een virus zou oplopen:
Woke up to the nicest comments on my last post. Thank you? Nowadays I struggle a lot with the physical damage that comes along with anorexia. My fingertips and toes just turned BLUE, most likely due to poor blood circulation and low body temperature. It was 24 degrees inside, and I sat under my blanket with wool stockings while shaking like crazy. My sight is also failing, it feels like I am looking through an unfocused camera lens. Things are also failing cognitively – I get frequent blackouts, forget the simplest things, have huge problems focusing and severe insomnia that I am taking medications for. My doctors also told me that I am very low in white blood cells, so I am like a sponge to infections and viruses. A simple flu can knock me out totally, so I have to get vaccinated. If this does not improve until december, I cant go to South Africa because it can be dangerous for my health. So boys and girls, there is nothing glamouros with anorexia. It is not a bizarre diet or a superficial wish to look like the models. This is the brutal reality. I deserve it. #mentalhealth #anorexia #edsoldiers
Enige tijd verder eet ze meer en meer:
Cereal with milk, corn crispbreads with salmon, grapes and a Troika chocolate bar. No kidney killing sugar free protein bar that tastes like dough. Ok, some of them are good, but not even close to real chocolate? So, there is a lot of talk about exercise in and after recovery. People often convince themselves that the only reason why they exercise is because they like it. In a lot of cases this is not true. So when do you have a problem? When you exercise because you dislike your body. When you rate your workout in calories instead of how fun it was and how much more you lifted/faster you ran compared to last time. When you exercise to to burn calories, feel better about eating or because you feel like you have eaten too much. When you feel guilty if you dont exercise, and have to exercise a certain amount of time. If ANY of these applies to you and you have or have had a restrictive eating disorder, no matter weight, you should consider taking a break from exercise until you are fully recovered. Also keep in mind that when you are underweight and/or undernourished, exercise is not healthy. It breaks down your body and burns calories you desperately need to survive. Calories are supposed to be used, not burned? #realcovery #anorexiarecovery
Rechtsboven de foto van bijna twee jaar terug toen ze op haar dunst was versus haar gewicht van een jaar geleden:
I have never felt as fat as when I was at my thinnest (the photo in the right top corner). I cant believe I looked like that 9-10 months ago. I dont remember looking like that at all. An eating disorder messes with your brain. It gives you body dysmorphia, ocd-like tendencies and makes you asocial and careless. Dont tell yourself you have an eating disorder because you think you are fat, or because you are rigid and obsessive. You feel fat and act rigid and obsessive because you have an eating disorder. It is a chemical reaction in your brain due being undernourished and/or underweight! It is dangerous when you start to identify yourself with your disease. Your disease is not you, the traits it gives you are not real. Remember one thing; your eating disorder will not let you go. YOU have to let go if your eating disorder!? #realcovery #anorexiarecovery
Een half jaar geleden durfde ze zelfs te posten dat ze niet altijd meer een platte buik heeft:
Can't believe I am posting this. I just want to show that IT IS OK AND NORMAL NOT HAVE A FLAT STOMACH 24/7! Seriously. Our stomach does not stay flat all day. I am posting this because I have previously posted photos of myself with a flat stomach; that is not how I look like all day. So here is me from this summer, right after a big meal, with no makeup and a happy face – happy that my body works? Did my temporary food baby belly prevent me from entering the beach? Hell no!? The term "summer body" bothers me. It puts too much focus on how our bodies look, not all the things it allows us to do! This body allowed me to have so much fun this summer. We danced, swam, lived, explored, ate. Now promise me one thing; in a few months, when the summer body hysteria starts, ignore it. When you are on the beach, focus on how the sand feels under your feet and how delicious that ice cream is, instead of holding in your stomach and worrying about whether your swimwear is flattering or not! Stop the focus on "getting" a summer body, because you already have one? #realcovery
En koekjes eet:
Een stunner in bikini:
Toen en nu:
2013 vs 2015. Sick vs healthy. These are some of the photos of me that are spreading all over the world these days. I want to use this as an opportunity to say something important; You don't have to look like me on the left to have an eating disorder. An eating disorder comes in all shapes and sizes. Some, like me, become very underweight by their eating disorder (though I was a normal-weight sufferer for some time too) whilst others are normal-weight or overweight, at times morbidly obese. We also have binge eating disorder, bulimia, orthorexia and ednos (eating disorder not otherwise specified) and many subclinical and atypical cases. I felt like my case was not taken seriously until I was very underweight, and that is not ok! It is a mental illness with physical side effects, and everybody deserves help. I also want to correct a few errors that have occurred in media about me and my case: – I was never "put into hospital." I went to outpatient treatment (therapy, weigh-ins, doctor checks etc) at the hospitals eating disorder unit. – It is true I ate 3000 calories daily whilst staying sedentary to gain 0.5 kg weekly, BUT in the beginning I gained far more on way less because my metabolism was in starvation mode. I gradually increased. As I ate more, I gained slower, as weird as it sounds. I am currently not on a 3000 calorie meal plan, I eat intuitively. – I never suffered from re-feeding syndrome. What I said is that I had to increase my intake gradually because I was in danger of it, as any other very undernourished/underweight person. The syndrome is rare and risk is low, even for the most severe cases, but it is watched out for because it can be deadly. – I did have "extreme hunger pains" at times, but I said "extreme hunger" – the pains-word was somehow added somewhere by somebody that is not me. Extreme hunger happened in recovery and basically means that I had episodes where I felt "starved out" and EXTREMELY hungry despite just eaten thousands of calories. This is normal in recovery. – I did not get diagnosed with anorexia in 2012. I got an eating disorder in 2012 but I was without treatment and a diagnosis until 2013. Hope this cleared things up❤️